[BEN and PAUL enter.]
BEN: Ladies and Gentlemen, we’d like to introduce to you now the latest campfire game sensation sweeping the nation, developed by us, Paul and Ben.
BEN: So to set the proper campfire mood, please welcome to the stage Rick Miller!
[RICK enters, begins playing campfire song.]
BEN: And to set the mood even more, please welcome Molly!
BEN: What is it?
PAUL: This isn’t like any campfire I’ve ever been to.
BEN: I know, I know, there’s not actual fire, but certain building regulations prevent-
PAUL: No. Look. [stage whisper] There’s a girl here.
BEN: Relax Paul, it’s theatre, it’s not supposed to reflect real life.
PAUL: Ah. But how come we always play ourselves?
BEN: Quiet, you. Molly, if you will.
[MOLLY sits PAUL in a chair and begins to tie him up.
BEN: Theatre, Paul.
PAUL: Oh, yeah.
[MOLLY tightens the rope (or tape or whatever…).]
PAUL: Ow! Not real life, not real life…
BEN: That’s right Paul. Some of you may wonder how Paul being tied to a chair is reminiscent of campfire games. And for some of you, this may be all too familiar. Molly, the accessories please.
[MOLLY puts a pair of goggles on PAUL. BEN puts on his own pair.]
BEN: Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare yourselves [holds up CHOCOLATE and GRAHAM CRACKERS] for EXTREME SMORES! CUE MUSIC!
[MELT BANANA (“pillow fight song”) plays at a louder than necessary volume. BEN throws CRACKERS, RICK throws CHOCOLATE, and MOLLY throws MARSHMALLOWS at PAUL.]